Hi there,
Don’t do that!
I’m sure we’ve all heard this at some point from a colleague. Or maybe we’ve said it to someone else on the team. 😬
I don’t know about you, but if I hear this then I’m often left wondering…
Ok, but what am I supposed to do instead?
Today, we will reframe how we approach cross-functional conversations and model leading without authority.
⚡ Supercharge of the Week
Remote Octopus recommends framing cross-functional conversations in what you want someone to do… instead of what not to do.
By anchoring your conversations on what to do, you’re anchoring the team in positivity and providing clear communication.
A few weeks ago, we dove into the impact of ineffective communication at work – 50% of remote workers say it destroys trust in their teams!
As cross-functional leaders, we’re often leading without authority. This means, we often have to guide or coach colleagues in actionable next steps to move work forward.
Leading without authority is less about telling someone what to do – or how to do their job – and more about providing guidance and feedback so the team is unified.
Sometimes we’re moving quickly or balancing so many cross-functional stakeholders that we might slip into quick feedback anchored in negativity with something like: Don’t do that!
When we share what not to do with colleagues, it can come across as:
Embarrassing for the person or team receiving the feedback
AND embarrassing for the person giving the feedback because it’s unclear and sets a negative tone (see: emotional contagion).
Anchoring conversations in what to do ensures that teams feel empowered and clear on how to be successful.
EXAMPLE IN ACTION
Instead Of: It’s important that this call doesn’t go over 2:30 pm.
Try: It’s important that we end on time at 2:30 pm.
EXAMPLE IN ACTION
Instead Of: Don’t forget to email the one-pager to Legal before Friday.
Try: Email the one-pager to Legal before Friday.
EXAMPLE IN ACTION
Instead Of: Don’t interrupt the eng team tomorrow – they’re on a tight timeline for a huge deliverable.
Try: Let’s hold on any eng team communication until Thursday – they’re on a tight timeline for a huge deliverable.
➡️ Important Note: There are some conversations when it is important to talk about what not to do. For example, during performance reviews, resolving misunderstandings, or addressing micro-aggressions. In all of these situations though, it is equally important to also provide the positive context of what someone might do instead.
🐶 PS: This tip works just as well in our personal lives! Try testing it out with your family, friends — or pets. My dog responds much better to: Sit! instead of: Don’t chase that squirrel!
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